Guilt
by dreamgoddess'92
Summary: After the events in "The Performer" it's up to Emily to help Reid battle his guilt for JJ's injury.


Hello friends!

I would like to first say that "The Performer" was awesome! I loved last night's episode! I loved it how at the end they all we laughing, even Hotch! I love The Beatles reference as well! All in all it was a pretty amazing episode!

I also love the Reid/Emily friendship. Reid is like the cutest thing and I really think that they have the ability to have a sweet friendship. Am I right? I think so. This idea came to me when Reid was being all guilty about JJ getting hurt.

I don't own Criminal Minds nor "Speeding Cars" by Imogen Heap

Please enjoy this sweet fluffy friendship fic. Oh and please review!

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_Glistening in the cold sweat of guilt_

_I've watched you slowly winding down for years_

_You can't keep on like this,_

_Now's a better time as any_

Emily watched as Reid sat at his desk; lost in a sea of thoughts. Will had just come to pick JJ up and Emily noted the guilt-laced stare Reid shot them as they left the office. He had been able to fool the others, but not Emily. She knew he was still feeling guilty about JJ being injured when she went to question Gina. He was probably still beating himself up for being wrong about the profile. Though technically, he hadn't been wrong. Emily and Morgan had been wrong. They brought in the wrong guy. P.K. Davies may not have been their unsub but he did eventually prove to be quite useful in connecting two and two together. Reid had simply needed to adjust the profile a little bit; merely tweak it as far as Emily was concerned.

Profiling wasn't an exact science, something Reid had managed to forget at the looks of things.

The others were shut off in their offices, which didn't surprise Emily one bit. Dave mentioned something about overdue paperwork and Emily had wished her older friend good luck. Morgan now had a steady influx of paperwork since he had become head of the team and he had been staying later because of it. Emily had known from right off the bat that no matter what happened to his status on the team that Hotch wouldn't retire early. That simply wasn't how Hotch functioned. Emily wasn't sure why she was still there. Hours had passed and all her paperwork was up to date (through the grace of God.)

Looking at Reid though made Emily realize why she hadn't left yet. She was going to have to have a talk with him before the night was out. Emily sighed and Reid turned to look at her, a question in his brown eyes.

"Something wrong Emily?" Reid asked genuinely concerned. He may not display it often, but Reid was fairly in tune with some of his fellow profilers: Emily being one of them. He was, after all, one of the first people on the team to accept her without much hesitation. Emily smiled at Reid's tone and looked at him softly. "You tell me, you're the genius," she replied lightly.

Reid cocked his head in confusion and his eyebrows drew together. "What do you mean?" he asked curious. Emily couldn't help but chuckle softly at the confused expression on his face: He wore it more often then one would think. He was brilliant when it came to work, not so much so when it came to the personal aspects of life. Also one had to pretty much spell it out to the kid; he didn't pick up on subtle hints either. Not that Emily minded. She agreed with the team when they said it was what made Reid, Reid.

"Oh come one Reid. You may be able to fool the others, but I know full well that you're still on your guilt trip about what happened to JJ." Emily said watching as the genius barely contained his cringe.

Emily was quite perceptive when it came to Reid; something he had noticed very early on. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but it could make him regret being alone with her sometimes. Reid decided playing dumb wasn't going to work. He had tried it once with her and he had almost managed to ruin their friendship and he had to try hard at fixing it after the Tobias incident.

In all honesty he hadn't really intended on offending Emily; he had just been scared that she could see he had been struggling when she barely knew him. There were times when Reid would look back and feel really guilty about what he had said to her. He didn't bother apologizing though: He knew Emily wouldn't stand for that anymore. Reid looked at Emily and grimaced.

"Yeah, I still do feel pretty guilty," he said much to Emily's surprise. She had been expecting him to deny it. She had been prepared to wrestle it out of him. Emily was glad though, that he was being open and honest with her.

"Well stop." Emily replied bluntly. There wasn't much more she could do with Reid. He didn't need her to sugarcoat it; he needed her to be straight and honest with him. Reid's eye widened at Emily's direct approach, but thought fondly how that was so much like Emily.

"Easier said then done Emily." Reid replied measuring his chance of getting out of this conversation without a Prentiss pep talk. By the look in Emily's eyes, Reid knew he was in for it this time. Not that that was a bad thing or anything. Reid just didn't know what she could possibly say to him to help him quench his guilt. Hell, part of him still harbored the guilt for letting Emily get beaten up by Cyrus. That had been ages ago in Reid's mind.

"Reid, I need you to actually listen to me this time okay?" Emily said turning to face Reid all the way. Little did the two of them notice, but they had a small audience. Hotch and Rossi were both standing inconspicuously by their doors just in hearing range. Emily wasn't trying to whisper either, so that helped. They wanted to see Emily work her magic that she seemed to use on everyone else as well.

Reid looked at Emily and nodded. He always took Emily's advice to heart, but he didn't always follow it. Emily took a deep breath in and dove into the speech she had been planning since the plane landed.

"Reid, you can't carry the guilt of what happens to anyone on this team on your shoulders. It's bad enough that we're all in and out of the hospital, as it is. I know you're probably still feeling a little guilty for what Cyrus did to me. I'm gonna tell you what I told you all those months ago. I'd do it again in a heartbeat." Emily said emphasizing her point by smacking her hand on her desk.

She had his undivided attention at this point: Hotch and Rossi's as well.

Emily continued. "I know how hard it is not to feel guilty for something that was well out of your control. Honestly, if I had been with you instead at the hospital with Hotch, you probably wouldn't have gotten shot." Emily admitted.

Reid was blown away by her confession. "You couldn't have helped that. Hotch hadn't shown up yet and it was a good think you went to check up on him. You handled everything better than I think any of us would've." Reid said honestly willing Emily to believe his words. Reid never once thought of blaming Emily for his injury. Hotch had needed her more than he had.

Emily smiled and nodded. "I know, but still. Guilt isn't rational, I know that you know that: the entire team knows that. Still doesn't stop us from feeling it once in a while. But you Reid, you hold on to that guilt for too long. You're not the only one on this team either." Emily said gently nudging her head in the direction of Hotch's office. Reid nodded in agreement at her gesture but kept his eyes on her. He knew she was right. Emily had a tendency to be right about these sort of things.

"I know it's not easy to let the guilt go, but you have to. It's like a poison Reid." Emily said finally letting her message sink in. Reid absorbed it and suddenly let her words become his new truth. He couldn't have done anything different to help JJ. He had to give out the profile and Emily had already told him previously that he hadn't been wrong. He believed her. Emily had that ability of making everything seem so much easier. It was a gift.

Reid couldn't stop himself from asking her a question though: A question he had always meant to ask her.

"Why do you always make it your job to take care of us? The team?" he asked watching as Emily's eyes widened a bit at the question.

Since day one Emily had tried desperately to integrate herself into the team. Once she had been accepted fully though she still strove to be there in the background. She managed to still put so much effort in supporting each and every one of them even though she no longer had anything to prove. Emily made it known early on that she would become an essential part of the team.

Emily thought for a moment before answering and smiled before she replied. "Because, someone's gotta do it. Why not me?"

Reid wasn't exactly sure how to respond to her reply. It was so basic, so obvious; it almost felt like a well-practiced response. It felt like it was something she practiced saying in the mirror.

"Honestly, Emily why? It's not like you have to prove to the team that you're worthy or something. You tried very hard in the beginning, almost like you were overcompensating. You don't have to do that anymore." Reid said still curious.

"Well, part of it is who I am. I guess after having parents that weren't really there I decided that I wouldn't be like that. Plus, everyone needs someone they can go to Reid. Even us profilers. Especially us profilers." Emily said laughing as she thought about her reply.

"You've gotta understand Reid that we're more than just a team. We're a family. As clichéd as this is going to sound, but family is meant to be there for each other. It's what we do. I'm not the only one either. Rossi helped me a great deal though Matthew's case and Garcia is a huge source of comfort for Morgan. I just make sure that I'm here for everyone because, I like being needed like that." Emily confessed her eyes a little unfocused as she became lost in her own thoughts.

Reid felt as if he was able to see into Emily's mind a little clearer now. She seemed less of a mystery to him. He could also see her heart and it warmed Reid to know that he wasn't the only one who viewed his team as a surrogate family.

"Well, we're one interesting family." Reid said laughing with Emily. "I'll give you that, but we make it work." Emily agreed. She looked at her clock and felt a yawn overpower her. Reid smiled at Emily, a new glow of affection in his eyes.

"We should head out. Get some rest and some food in our bodies before we collapse from exhaustion and hunger." Emily said once her stomach growled loudly sending Reid into a fit of chuckles. "Agreed," he replied and together they packed up their stuff.

"Hey Emily," Reid said stopping to look at her. Emily turned to him and nodded for him to continue. "Thanks." Reid finished saying a lot more with that one word that he had planned to say. Emily's eyes brightened and she smiled.

"You're welcome Reid," she replied and together the two of them made their way out of the office not seeing the two identical smiles of their fellow teammates who couldn't agree with what Emily said more.

They were one hell of a family.

_There, there baby, it's just textbook stuff_

_It's in the ABC's of growing up_

_Now, now darling, oh don't loose your head_

_'Cause none of us were angels and you know I love you_

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Well, there you have it. I'm quite proud of it if I do say so myself. I want to work more with developing the friendships within the team because I believe those are just important as the romantic ones. =)

Hope you all enjoyed this one, if you have any other relationships you'd like me to work with please don't hesitate to submit them!

Peace out.


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